Postpartum Update

(I just realized I never posted this.)

 

I finally allowed myself to let the tears flow when the came and to not apologize for it. It was simply where I was at emotionally at the moment. I knew (hoped) it would get better. But When would it get better? That was the question. …

 

We are 5 weeks into this parenting thing. Where has the last month and a half gone by the way? 

Anyway, We are doing our best to adjust N’s schedule so he sleeps better at night. (Inevitably when I think I should just stay up till his next feeding because it SHOULD be in 30 minutes, he sleeps later. Now, had I gone to bed an hour and a half ago, he would have woken up 10 minutes after I got to sleep.

 

I’m digressing

 

I am doing MUCH better. I’m not near as weepy as I was.

R’s parents have been here and have been holding him constantly, as they should. With them here I feel like an absentee parent again. She has taken N. for the last 3 nights which has allowed me to sleep. And sleep I have done!

I have been finding myself missing him and wanting to hold my son. The past few days I’ve gone to bed realizing I’ve hardly held him or even taken care of him. (I think I changed 1 diaper yesterday.)

I am still trying to figure out a good routine; Partially because we’ve had a total  of 25 days of family being in town. with a max of 2 weeks between my family being here and R’s family coming in. (We will have more company coming at some point.)

I think I can pretty much bank on 3-4 hours between feedings during the night. I have adjusted his feeding schedule Sister put him on from every 2 hours to every 3 hours. I think both of us are happier with this arrangement.

It has also helped that we’ve figured out what he is crying about.

 

I do still feel guilty that I don’t have as much time to give Miko attention but I think we are both adjusting to that as well. I’m figuring out how to give N. the attention he needs and play with Miko at the same time. (sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t.) I try to do my best to give her a little bit of one-on-one attention every day.

 

One thing that has helped the postpartum thing was being honest about my feelings. I told R. that I felt like I loved the dog more than N and told him about a few other feelings I had. 

His reply to the love aspect was this:

Miko is a known entity. N. isn’t yet. He’s here but we haven’t had the opportunity to figure out his personality yet. We’ve had a year and a half  with Miko. I have pretty much spent every day of that year and a half with her. She is my fur child.

 

What’s interesting about this is a neighbor and I were talking about this very thing the other day. apparently she was having a tough time with this very thing after she had her second baby. It took her a couple of months to develop a connection with her second child.  (I pretty much shared R’s very words with her.)

I STILL feel like I’m crazy to have/ feel like I love the dog more, but at least I know I’m not alone. (In theory anyway.)